When your life lacks specificity, you lack the path to your ultimate dreams.
What do you want? What do you really want? If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?
Life is full of wants, desires, needs. We constantly say we want this or that. Need, have to have, or will die without item, person or thing X.
The truth is you probably already have everything you need. Basic survival necessities. The things to keep you alive and safe: food, water, shelter.
However, when we look beyond the things we truly must have in order to exist, is where life gets tricky.
Take a moment, and examine your life. Carefully consider the things you truly need versus the things you may want. I am willing to wager that most of us have everything we need, which is a blessing within itself.
Now taking this notion one step forward, I ask you to contemplate all the things you want: job, relationship, friends, family, social life, etc. Writing it down may even help you get the list out of your head in a clearer manner.
Again, I ask you to carefully inspect your life. Contemplate the things you have actually said you want aloud, or asked for in your dreams and prayers. How have you asked for these things? What were the words you used to ask for them?
I imagine some of these wants sound like:
“I wish I had more money.”
“I just want someone who loves me.”
“I want a job that I do not hate.”
“I wish I was more beautiful.”
“I hope that I get to travel.”
Sound about right?
These general ideas were things I used to say all the time, and then one day something clicked. All these hopes, wishes and wants were being answered and met. The problem was I was not receiving the answers in the magnitude I had wanted because I was not being specific in how I approached asking for these things. I did not verbalize or contextualize the exact ways I had wanted these notions to come to fruition. My language lacked logistics. The energy I put out was still wishy-washy. There was still doubt, a lack of confidence, and an air of negativity in all that I wanted.
Finding a penny on the street, meant I technically had MORE money. Having a friend that loves me, meant I had SOMEONE who loves me. Having a job I did not love, but did not hate, meant I had a job I DID NOT HATE. Maturing into my looks, and allowing my personality to blossom, meant I was becoming MORE beautiful. Traveling to Long Island from New York City, meant I was TRAVELING.
We truly do get everything we ask for, maybe not to the level of grandeur we had dreamt up, but rather, in some other basic form. The problem is we see a picture but are too general, vague, unspecific. We lack specificity, and then get frustrated with ourselves, lives, the world around us.
How would you expect to leave from your home airport, and arrive at another specific city, anywhere in the world, if you didn't know where you wanted to go? The same is true for life, goals, dreams, the bigger picture at large.
Our general ideas are going to lead us to a semi-developed life, but not enough to pave a path for a perfectly clear picture. We must learn to meditate on what it is that we truly want, desire, need to possess, in order to the live life we are meant to live.
A week ago, I had the privilege of meeting a good friend’s good friend, in the gloriousness of Central Park's Sheep’s Meadow. An effortlessly cool blonde decked out in Elton John shades, and an outfit straight out of a 90's pop star’s wardrobe. She approached our already set up blanket with a smile, and undeniable positive energy.
Introductions were had, and conversation quickly became more personal, something I love. My new friend started talking about the type of guy, life and friends she wanted. All had an air of comfort and ease, something we all desire, but something “hot-blonde” did not have. She finished talking about all she wanted, and I instantly knew this girl deeper than I think she may currently know herself.
I was not necessarily this “girl,” but this person. Someone in search of change, depth, renewal.
Listening to her talk, I could immediately see what was lacking for her. She wasn't being specific enough. She was vocalizing vagueness in her wants. Her life was an idea. She had yet to let the universe know her specifics, and so she continued to get everything she asked for, but not how she had hoped. She lacked details, essentials, particular.
Unfortunately, this is something most of us do because it is easier to cultivate blurred images of nebulousness than crisp, clean, detailed visualizations of our lives.
While specificity is a fundamental aspect of figuring out our journeys and destinations, we must remember to look at all that comes our way with perspective, and fully developed ideas in mind.
Yes, you may find a partner that fits a certain physical mold, but does he or she actually fulfill all that you will need to live a happy, loving, emotional life? Does that job that fits a certain salary expectation, allow you to be happy, wake up and go to bed without unnecessary stresses? Does having the body you’ve always wanted outwardly, mean you are risking your health and internal love? These are the scales of life that we must weight, and as we mature it is easier to see how one side should be higher than the other.
The question, “Where do you see yourself in a year, five years, ten years?” is an extremely difficult question to answer, when we do not know what it is that we ultimately want. We do not know what we are willing to sacrifice, fight for, or loose along the way, which again is part of the process. However, when you begin to examine the details of your life that you dislike and like, you are able to better construct a well-built walkway, bridge, or path to the destination of your highest achievements and goals, visions and dreams, love and lightness.
We must look deep within, be undeniably honest with ourselves, and ask what is it that I not only want, but specifically want. Until then we are stuck on a treadmill without an off button, a plane without a destination, a painter not sure what he is painting.
Love yourself with each constructive step you take. Be gentle with yourself with wrong turns you may make. Be positive in your language, loose vagueness, and most importantly be specific.
Yes, you can!
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