Fighting The Good Fight

In a city that holds over 8 million people you think it would be easy to find at least one who just gets you. Who makes you feel special. Who makes you want to do nothing but have endless lazy Sundays in bed. Who wants to have endless romping sessions with real talks about life in between. Who texts you to simply say hi. Who isn’t afraid to let you know they like you.

New York City is an amazing place. It is a small 12-mile by 6-mile island that has been developed into a super city, The City. You walk on the streets and there is an endless endlessness. Saturation of saturation. People, places, things. Nouns are everywhere. But where is that proper noun, The One?

Finding chemistry is hard. Bright-eyed, nerve-inducing, don’t-fuck-this-up chemistry. You know it almost instantly. That first meeting, eyes connecting and you just know. Yes or no.

I’d like to think we all go into that first chance meeting hoping for that “yes,” but it seems that “no” is far more common. Sure, he is cute. Conversation isn’t awful. He has stuff going on. But that isn’t enough.

It’s hard today. We seem to fall for someone based on his or her personified version. The one that filters who he or she wants to be through endless filters. X-Pro, Brannan, Inkwell. But who they are really takes time to figure out. We are all part of the problem, myself included.

I recently had this discussion with a new friend. Cute southern boy, who just moved to New York City. He voiced the hardships the city has thrown at him. Ones I, myself, have dealt with. Falling for a profile. Getting wrapped up in someone based off of whom we think we are talking to. Text after text. Anticipation to meet. Then bam, you meet. What have I done? Who have I been talking to? I shouldn’t have wasted my time.

In an era where everyone is a supermodel, we all have to fight fire with fire and be supermodels as well. Yes, I want my best version to be displayed. No, I don’t want the world to see me at 2 am with pimple cream, glasses and bedhead. Who does?

While I may not want the world to see me as anything less than perfect, there is nothing better than getting to that point with someone. When you show your imperfections. Not being afraid to not be perfect. To let them see you, the real you.

When you do hit that inevitable point where the cloak comes off, and you share that real intimacy, rawness, nakedness it is one of the scariest things in the world. Yet, to have your imperfections put on display for someone else, and have them love you more, that is what it is all about. That is why we fight the good fight. That is why we continue to put ourselves out there. So that one day we are filter free, gloriously imperfect and loved like never before. 

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Posted on February 19, 2014 .