What Would Happen If You Stopped Beating Yourself Up?

What would happen if today you actually stopped beating yourself up, and treated yourself how you should be treated? Not because you suddenly have a brand new mindset, but because you are tired of being your own worst enemy, and realize putting yourself down isn’t actually making any changes.

What would happen if you stood in front of the mirror this morning, said hello gorgeous, and meant it? Not because you suddenly look differently, but because you finally realized there is no point in beating yourself up over the things that you can’t change in this very moment.

What would happen if you actually found a reason to be excited to go to work today? Not because you suddenly have a new job, but because you remember you are lucky to have a job in this economy, and that for better or worse, it’s where you are spending majority of your time, so you might as well find a reason to look forward to doing the work you’ve chosen to do.

What would happen if today you actually allowed yourself to eat healthy and enjoyed nourishing your body? Not because you suddenly stopped liking all the junk food and your tastebuds have changed, but because you realize this type of food will actually make your body, mind, and soul feel better.

What would happen if you didn’t just go through the motions of the day, but found reasons to be grateful you are alive? Not because you are dying, but because you remember how lucky you are to be alive.

What would happen if you allowed yourself to workout for at least 15 minutes today? Not because you suddenly love to, but because you know this will improve your overall health and well-being. 

What would happen if you went to bed not dreading waking up in the morning, but excited to have another day to live your life? 

Too many of us wake up and are not pumped for the day ahead because we have gotten stuck in a life we are not pumped to fully live in. Rather then thrive, we just start to exist. We follow the motions of getting ready, eating, or a lot of the time, not eating breakfast, and then going to work. Then we work work work at a job we aren’t completely satisfied with, and count the hours till lunch when we get to escape, or too often, eat at our desks. Then we go back to work work work, and just when we can no longer bare it, we realize it’s almost time to go home. We’ll dick around for an hour or two on the computer, so it looks like we are working, and then the time comes when its acceptable to leave, so we rush to get the f out of the office and into the real world. However, that only last for a few minutes before we are forced to sit on subways or in traffic to make it back home, which no longer feels like an oasis, but another place to just exist. We crash, turn into zombies that eat junk, watch crap TV, come up with excuses as to why we don’t need to workout, and fully become a shell of a being. We fall into a black hole of existence, and subconsciously black out all of our problems. Then before we know it, it’s time to go to bed, which means we become hyper aware that tomorrow is another day, we have to wake up at an hour we do not want to rise at, and go back to doing a job we aren’t passionate about doing.


Because somewhere along our journey’s someone told us this was normal. Many of us saw our parents live this way, or we simply fell into a slump, and just accepted it.

Maybe it was slow and gradual, or maybe you found yourself in a giant crisis, during which it felt like everything imploded on you and your being. Honestly, it doesn’t matter how you’ve gotten here, all that matters is that you at least understand that you are here, and that this needs to change. You don’t need to change everything in your life suddenly to stop this destructive behavior that I call “existing zombie.” However, you do need to start somewhere, and the easiest place to start, is with your own mind.

Again, I fully understand that this is easier said then done, but the thing is, it needs to be done, and a few small changes will lead to a lot of big changes before you know it. And if you can’t change all the external forces that are making you one of these existing zombies, which I’m sure you are telling yourself right now, then the easiest thing to do is to change yourself.

By simply taking stock in the things you do have, rather than the things you don’t have, you will quickly see you have everything you need. Yes, maybe you don’t have all the money you want, all the clothes, trips, and whatever else we get hung up on, but you probably do have so many things that many other humans would kill for. Things like an able capable body that can move without medical assistance, two arms that are functioning, two legs that are functioning, eyes that see, a body that can breathe on its own, and ears that hear. And if you don’t have all of these things, you still have majority of them, which is still super fucking lucky.

If this doesn’t make you stop and think, “fuck, I am lucky,” then what about having a safe, clean, dry, warm place to sleep at night. How about having access to food whenever you want it, or clean drinking water, or a shower? I know these things don’t feel like much because you’ve probably had them for a long time, but that’s the thing, when we reflect on all that we have, we realize the rest is all bullshit, and these things are actually not give-ins for everyone in life.

Yes, you’ve been programmed to think you need the coolest, the latest, the newest, but it’s not true. You don’t need any of that. What you need, you have. What you want is another story, and fully up to you. Additionally the more we let go of the wants, the more we leave space in our lives for the things that truly matter like gratitude, community, and altruism. The less stuff we acquire, the more space we have to explore mentally and physically. The more we appreciate those around us, the less likely we are to feel the need to escape to a fantasy we’ve created about someone we lust after via social media, or some other random channel.

I know to some of you, this may all seem obvious, and to others it may seem rather hippy dippy, but there is a reason you’ve read this far, and why you came to my blog in the first place. Maybe it was curiosity. Maybe it was my image. Maybe you accidentally hit a button that took you here. Whatever the reason, you are here, so all I ask you in this moment is to simply stop, take a breath, and say 5 things you are grateful for. If you roll your eyes, and think I don’t want to, then you my friend are the person that needs this even more than others because you are running from yourself, your life, your mind, and this is not healthy..

I promise life doesn’t have to continue to be this way, and it won’t. You just have to chose to keep pushing to find the light. It won’t always be easy, but it will always be worth it.

Besides what’s the worst thing that could happen? You end up in a more peaceful, happier, and gracious place then you are in now. That’s the worst thing that could happen, so don’t even try to go down the negative rabbit hole of what ifs because what you are forgetting is there is all the beautiful what ifs waiting for you on the other side.

So, what would happen if you stopped beating yourself up today?

Feel free to leave your doubts, your fears, your secrets below, and together we will get through this. It truly is one day at a time.

Much Love,


Posted on October 24, 2018 .